Thursday, February 21, 2013


Last week was a good week. Scratch that. Last week was a GREAT week. My whole perspective was changed and I finally got the answer to the whole purpose of this blog once and for all.

Let's backtrack a bit. I am an introvert. I get exhausted being around people 24/7. My dream job would be to lock myself away in the archives, yet my reality is that I'm a very social person. It's somewhat exhausting but has progressed me to the title of "Functional Introvert." So to go out to concerts, dinner, or movies by myself is on one hand fine with me. On the other hand, it's more fun to experience it with someone. However I was looking forward to going to the concert and later to the ballet.

I started off going to a concert by myself. I go every time this band comes to town and always seem to run into friends and have a good time. This year it was a last minute gig and none of my friends could make it but I was looking forward to it all the same. That whole day I had been in a great mood. I was talking to my sister as I was walking up to the pub and she was cracking me up. So I sat about a 1/4 of a block down from the entrance to finish my conversation with her.

As I did I became aware that the band was unloading but a couple of them stopped and stared. I thought it was something behind me but no, there was no one behind me. I was getting checked out. As I went into the bar I staked out a good area to set my beer on and enjoy the show. The concert was good but nothing could compete with the guy doing his best impersonation of Molly Ringwald's dance in The Breakfast Club, compiled with random jumps and herkie kicks to round it out. Counter that to his partner who was doing some sort of Wiccan conjuring spell dance and you've got a good evening's worth of entertainment.

This all being said, I was in a great mood and had no problem talking to people and they seemed to gravitate toward me. When I left, I was on the sidewalk and one of the band members looked me over long and hard- he did not give a crap about my hair. Had it not been a work night I would have returned the gaze (with some embarrassment) but I needed bedtime. That was a great victory because it really IS all about attitude and energy. If you're in a great mood, people find that a magnet and they want to be around it. I am not a classic beauty, I have 20 pounds I would be happy to donate to anyone willing, and it didn't matter. I was happy and fun and THAT'S what made me attractive that night.

So on to the ballet. Quite a different social engagement. I went with a friend and afterwards we went to a nearby hotel for a drink. There was a gala fundraiser going on and many drunken debutantes pouring out of the ballroom. Really, you'd think with all that money they would learn to hold their liquor. Some girls sat on the floor, draped over their date's lap whilst their friends pulled down their dresses. Other girls were borderline belligerent and assaulting eligible bachelors and trapping them into corners, poor dears.

And even though the lighting was BAD and my hair looked like a creamsicle (trust me, those elderly women all took notice and politely turned away), I think I was still preferable to an amateur drunk. Yay, points for me! All kidding aside, the only ones who notice or care about your skunk stripe are women. When men notice it on me, they either love it or don't really care. Some may notice and not care for it, but I have never received a negative comment from a man nor a negative look. I think it just helps if you show it off. Don't try to hide it or conceal it- it's there and it's intentional (unfortunate yet intentional). Once you stand up for yourself everyone will fall in line.


  1. I love your blog and can I EVER relate...I started exactly a year before you and I remember well the obsessive measuring (i've whipped out the cloth measuring tape *many* times) and the final acceptance of the skunk stripe. I too am single and somewhat premature (43), but I also have not found that it is a deterrent to men, at least not to the sort of men I'd be interested in I'm here to say, just got a haircut today (I have longish hair) and for the first time the bottom dyed hair doesn't bother me! Hang in there, your silver is beautiful and your attitude will totally ROCK IT.

  2. I keep trying to respond via phone but it never posts. Patera, this is a well-timed and super encouraging comment! Congratulations on making 18 months!! Super exciting and I'll bet you're stunning in all your silver glory. It's so nice to hear from women going through this transition and women like you who have graduated to the other side. Thank you for reading, the compliment, and most of all for posting because everyone reading this will be greatly encouraged by it. You're awesome.