Monday, June 2, 2014

Where Do I Stand?

I've had a few hiccups with this whole greying and dating thing. Mostly, it was the transition and I could focus the energy on that and say that once I was fully transitioned, all would be well and right in the world. But is this really the case? Even though I’m months away from full silverdom, the line of demarcation is so blended that no one other than a stylist would know it. Okay, include my obsessing over each ¼ inch grow out and we’ve a complete picture.

Anyhoo… point is I can’t hide my insecurities behind a skunk stripe anymore. When I was a ginger I had a sort of age anonymity, or at least I thought I did, and that gave me a certain level of confidence. Now I am a silver sister in a world where there aren’t many silver sisters my age. It’s kind of kick-ass cool but it’s also kind of intimidating. After all, where do I stand on the desirability index?
Week 1 in DC and I was anything but settled: sleeping on an air mattress until my furniture arrived, figuring out the DASH bus schedule (insert expletive), and hitting the ground running in my job. I went to church that Sunday for much-needed solace. I was just happy to be there and then an elderly man came up to me. At first I thought he was being friendly and welcoming but then, no he was hitting on me. He was in his 60s and doing everything he could think of to get my email. Fail.

That was a bit of a blow to my ego and I wondered if this was going to be the extent of my desirability? Old men, awkward in social settings who feel justified in hitting on me because I’m silver and therefore must be ancient? You can see how this has put me off a bit.

Let’s gain some perspective. What I WANT is this (see left)... What I got that Sunday was this (see right)... Not exactly uplifting to my spirits. I have had some higher points in the dating scene since then which I will divulge in a later post but this is where I was week 1.

This being a journey of greying and dating, I think it only right to be 100% honest. I’m not always confident that grey hair won’t limit my dating options. By saying that it seems like I’m considering dyeing my hair but I’m not. I love my silver and I am willing to keep it regardless of how it impacts my dating life. It’s not out of stubbornness but simply because I went grey for ME and I happily stand by that decision.
I think part of the journey is getting to a point where you walk into that bar and when someone checks you out you KNOW that they’re checking you out, not second-guessing what might be going on in their head. Honestly that’s a journey we all go through regardless of our hair color. Maybe the silver just brings it to a head. So this is an insecure moment but one I feel important to share. Yes I rock the silver and I love it but I also know that not everyone sees it that way. Further dating updates to come...

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