Thursday, June 12, 2014

How to Lose My Interest in 7 Days... or Less

Have you ever gone on a fantastic date and you really feel like you connected? You talk or text each other and then he fades out a bit. There's a second date coming up so you're just sure you can win him over with your fabulous personality and eagerness. But it feels off. And then you never hear from him again. I've been there. And I've been on both sides of the coin too. This was the state of things last night as I had my second (and last) date with DC Bachelor #1. Here is a cartoon that keeps playing in my head when I think about him:

 

Our first date went well enough. Nothing spectacular just normal. Yes I found his negative slant on everything tiresome. Yes I found his dramatization of the mundane even more annoying. But some people are just bad daters and so I agreed to a second date to see if there would be more appeal. I go by the philosophy that you continue in relationships until you decide they're not going in a direction that's good for either of you. Does that mean you quit on your family or husband? No. That means that you keep dating until you either decide to make each other family or you decide to part.

After date #1 I could have gone either way. I rarely ever am wowed by a guy and when I am, people usually look at me with raised eyebrow and scornful snort. There's no type per se, just a masculine confidence and ease. Some are hunky (in a mountaineer sort of way) and others are skinny and awkward. I dunno, if I did know how to define it, I wouldn't be writing this last blog post. 

Anyhoo, first date over and he called me that evening to say he had a great time. Nice! I confirmed that it was nice to meet him and sure, I'd like to get together soon. And then the texting began. 

early afternoon: How was your day?... Want to hang out this weekend? 

Normal enough, then the texts increase.

11.29pm (not okay): Hope your weekend went well! [no response from me] 
Calls: I'm at work and bored. Call me back and keep me entertained. [no response] 
8am: How was your ride on the metro?
11.48am: How is your day? [no response]
5.34pm: Movie starts at 7. Should we meet there 6.30? [I was going to be there 10 till]
6.00pm (call): So you said this theatre right? Are these the directions? 
6.30pm: On my way! [no response]
6.45pm: Parking 
6.51pm (call): Where are you? Oh, is that you parking? I'm the guy waving at you.

If you don't see anything desperate and annoying about that then you are guilty of having scared a man or two away. It's neither normal nor attractive to come off too eager with nothing but time available for the other person. Normal people have hobbies and lives. I just moved here but I have meetups, World Cup matches, befriending neighbors, my dog, my hobbies- ahem, a life! Oh yeah and my career. I don't have endless hours available in the day for anyone, let alone someone I just met. I'll tell you, I came in a little excited. After meeting him I was still interested in seeing what was there. By day 3 of this non-stop texting scenario I was over it and him.

2 comments:

  1. Gorgeous picture of you in the last post! Where do you get all your energy? Congrats on the move. As far as your date.....scary. Smart woman to end that one. Oh, and congrats on 21 months....your hair is just beautiful.

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  2. Puppy!!! I think I'm just running on fumes right now. Going to slow down life a bit. The guy was over eager and since I didn't return the enthusiasm (and wouldn't) it's just a best to end it there. I am envying your silver. So chic! Especially that last cut I saw.

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