Monday, April 29, 2013

A Plethora of Dating Sites

Plethora. It's one of those fabulous underutilized words and it also applies quite accurately to the number of online dating sites available. I have tried many and loved few. I am one of those people who like to meet men organically, in their natural environment. However, I am also one of those that has many DOH! moments realising that I missed many a golden opportunity to express interest and take it to the next level. Very much like the guy I met in Glasgow who walked several miles out of his way to walk me to the right train station, stayed with me to show me the exact train I needed... far beyond what I needed but he was cute so hey, why not? Then he lingered and did I say anything other than a profuse thank you?? No. Missed opportunity. Sigh.

Aside: just to have a gratuitous pic before the big cut this Thursday. Although I'm slightly cross-eyed, the sentiment remains the same: Rock on! with your bad self.

So since I have developed this bad habit of missing opportunities, I turn to online dating. Since I went on to Ok Cupid I have had several dates. Nothing that swept me off my feet but I realise that even with 4 inches of roots it didn't affect the guys that I went out with. It was the same mix I had when my hair was fully dyed; some really good-looking, some not so much, some pretty cool, others not so much. Really, there's no change. The difference I DO notice is that these guys are pretty nervous and I'm not at all. I'm actually pretty damn comfortable, confident, and cool. In another blog post I think I'll go into how to steer a date but for now, we'll just focus on the different dating sites. Would you like to custom order yourself out of any surprises? Would you like a man who is 5' 11", auburn hair, violet eyes, originally from Moldova but speaks Tagalog? You can find that on! The trouble is that members get into such specifics that they don't look outside of their narrow boxes much. Oh, and the 'wink' feature is super-annoying! So the MO (modus operandi) is that a guy will look at new girls in the age group he specified. He will send out winks to several or 50. You are supposed to wink back, until you start the small talk phase. Chatting seems to go on longer on than a lot of other sites. If you are a girl, prepare to be overwhelmed on OKC. There are so many more men on there than women and your inbox will always be full. The trouble with OKC is there are a lot of people looking for hookups, which is one step away from craigslist ads. They have the endless stream of questions to answer as well. The more questions you answer, the more you know how a person potentially matches with you. But the questions never end. Ever. Men are more likely to email you out the gate and start with some small talk but dates usually ensue much quicker. eH is designed for meeting "the one." There are quite a few questions and for a girl who's a minority in the Christian world (Eastern Orthodox Christian), they really don't know what to do with that. There seem to be a lot more women on this site and the men are slim pickings. I haven't been on this site for years because of this fact but when my very attractive friend joined I saw what they paired her up with. Not great. My dates from eH were guys who lied about their height (5' 3" is not that close to 5' 9"), showed pics of when they were waaay younger and had hair, and they were looking to get married yesterday.

Specialty dating sites. Since I am of a minority religion I do belong to orthodoxchristiandating. But with any of these sites I think the foundation is all religion, or whatever the specialty consists of. I have met men on this site- great men from all over and you start out having something important in common. But the likelihood that one of you is going to move because of an online relationship? Probably not as great as you'd think.

So I guess it all comes down to what you're trying to get out of this site. I recommend trying some out though. It gets your mojo going, helps to identify what you really want right now, and it also reinforces that you're attractive whether you have two-toned hair or not. There's a lot of good that comes out of it but be prepared to really invest some time into it.


  1. I was happy to read your blog. I had no idea you had one but it was very informative. I have never really tried the online dating thing but have heard many different things. There is a site called plenty of fish (POF) that many of my guy friends swear by because of the astounding 90-99% hook-up rate. It sounds like the way craigslist personals used to be. I am also a believer in meeting people the natural way. Maybe that's why I tend to be with the same woman for awhile and then have LOOONNNG dry spells.
    I am going gray as well but not on the top of my head. For some reason the bottom of my chin seems to be all gray either in beard of goatee form. I haven't started worrying about it or the bald spot forming at the top back of my head.
    I believe by the time February 2014 rolls around I will have joined a site.

  2. I really prefer to meet men the natural way too. And I think we both approach relationships similarly too. But it's good to explore all your options because you never know when a date-turned-platonic can introduce you to one of their friends...

    That sounds like a normal greying pattern. And it's kind of cool. You'll probably see more grey coming into the temples but it's distinguished. I think greying is as hard for men as it for women- my co-worker laments daily about his grey. But you have to rename it: distingusidhed, badass, mod... whatever and then you can own and rock it.