Monday, April 20, 2015

End of an Era (1950s, that is)

Well, after nearly five months with the Greek, he became way too comfortable in revealing his whole self. All I can say is yeesh. At first I thought- what a nice guy, he seems so into getting to know me, so interesting himself, down-to-earth, and I saw a possibility of a future. Everything is true except the last point.

I have said it before and I will say it again: people tell you exactly who they are in the first 20 minutes. There are signs. I knew well the signs from his, shall I say, conservative politics, and his statements in absolutes (read immaturity) that this may not, indeed have a future. However I feel you just continue until you REALLY know if a) you want to make that person family and marry him; b) part as friends; or c) just part altogether.

After a particularly revealing conversation driving home the realness of the above-mentioned flags, I decided upon option "b".

I can summarize this into a Cliff Notes version:
Him: I’m more like a Tea Party guy, I believe in traditional marriage roles, Women’s lib is a bad thing, I should live in the 1950s I’d be a lead Prof at MIT. WTF??!!

My responses, consecutively: 
Tea Party- NOOOO, No No No No! Thank goodness you’re Greek and therefore will never vote here otherwise I’d have to vote in EVERY election just to cancel you out.

Traditional Marriage Roles- If you want to live by 1950s values then you can’t have double standards. For example no intelligent wage-earning woman wants to work full time, clean after herself and double her workload by adding YOU to the mix. You should only date someone that makes less than half your wage so her standard of living doesn’t go down by being with you. I make too much money, i.e. more than you. Therefore I'm out of your league.

Women’s Lib- What do you actually BRING to the table, because waving a penis around means nothing. Sperm? Yes, I can get that at a bank or a bar. I certainly don't need to take care of you to get that. And seeing that I'm the principle breadwinner (when shouldn't that be YOUR 'traditional' role?), you're not even living up to your basic, and only, responsibility.

1950s god- In the 1950s you would still be in Greece or here earning a low wage. The American world was not a friendly place to non-WASPs in 1950.

Even though it was hot topics the tone wasn't contentious. He saw this as a debate, one that he lost every point on. The only thing that seemed to hurt him was killing the dream of his being a 1950s MIT god. Being Greek he thinks the world sees Greeks as they see themselves- the epitome of humans on earth. The reality is that no one cares: people never say to themselves, “gee if only I were Greek, Life would be so much better.”

I'm not even upset or disappointed at this point. Just sort of mellow and cool about the whole thing. It wasn't wasted time it was just another great lesson learned and understanding more the kind of person who would (and wouldn't) make a great partner for me... and vice versa. I mean at least we can speak openly and honestly and there's value in that. And who knew I would ever call a Tea Party supporter a friend? Its just that I would never want a life with him so I'm happy to part on friendly terms.

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