Monday, April 29, 2013

A Plethora of Dating Sites

Plethora. It's one of those fabulous underutilized words and it also applies quite accurately to the number of online dating sites available. I have tried many and loved few. I am one of those people who like to meet men organically, in their natural environment. However, I am also one of those that has many DOH! moments realising that I missed many a golden opportunity to express interest and take it to the next level. Very much like the guy I met in Glasgow who walked several miles out of his way to walk me to the right train station, stayed with me to show me the exact train I needed... far beyond what I needed but he was cute so hey, why not? Then he lingered and did I say anything other than a profuse thank you?? No. Missed opportunity. Sigh.

Aside: just to have a gratuitous pic before the big cut this Thursday. Although I'm slightly cross-eyed, the sentiment remains the same: Rock on! with your bad self.

So since I have developed this bad habit of missing opportunities, I turn to online dating. Since I went on to Ok Cupid I have had several dates. Nothing that swept me off my feet but I realise that even with 4 inches of roots it didn't affect the guys that I went out with. It was the same mix I had when my hair was fully dyed; some really good-looking, some not so much, some pretty cool, others not so much. Really, there's no change. The difference I DO notice is that these guys are pretty nervous and I'm not at all. I'm actually pretty damn comfortable, confident, and cool. In another blog post I think I'll go into how to steer a date but for now, we'll just focus on the different dating sites.

Match.com. Would you like to custom order yourself out of any surprises? Would you like a man who is 5' 11", auburn hair, violet eyes, originally from Moldova but speaks Tagalog? You can find that on match.com! The trouble is that match.com members get into such specifics that they don't look outside of their narrow boxes much. Oh, and the 'wink' feature is super-annoying! So the MO (modus operandi) is that a guy will look at new girls in the age group he specified. He will send out winks to several or 50. You are supposed to wink back, until you start the small talk phase. Chatting seems to go on longer on Match.com than a lot of other sites.

OKCupid.com. If you are a girl, prepare to be overwhelmed on OKC. There are so many more men on there than women and your inbox will always be full. The trouble with OKC is there are a lot of people looking for hookups, which is one step away from craigslist ads. They have the endless stream of questions to answer as well. The more questions you answer, the more you know how a person potentially matches with you. But the questions never end. Ever. Men are more likely to email you out the gate and start with some small talk but dates usually ensue much quicker.

eHarmony.com. eH is designed for meeting "the one." There are quite a few questions and for a girl who's a minority in the Christian world (Eastern Orthodox Christian), they really don't know what to do with that. There seem to be a lot more women on this site and the men are slim pickings. I haven't been on this site for years because of this fact but when my very attractive friend joined I saw what they paired her up with. Not great. My dates from eH were guys who lied about their height (5' 3" is not that close to 5' 9"), showed pics of when they were waaay younger and had hair, and they were looking to get married yesterday.

Specialty dating sites. Since I am of a minority religion I do belong to orthodoxchristiandating. But with any of these sites I think the foundation is all religion, or whatever the specialty consists of. I have met men on this site- great men from all over and you start out having something important in common. But the likelihood that one of you is going to move because of an online relationship? Probably not as great as you'd think.

So I guess it all comes down to what you're trying to get out of this site. I recommend trying some out though. It gets your mojo going, helps to identify what you really want right now, and it also reinforces that you're attractive whether you have two-toned hair or not. There's a lot of good that comes out of it but be prepared to really invest some time into it.




Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Color Lift Part Deux

There's a lot to this color lift so I'm going to spend a little more time on this. As I went into the bathroom to re-examine my grey in yet another light, I noticed that there were a few areas where there was red hair about an inch from the roots. The roots had more white. Oh no! I thought that the color lift had deposited some dye on my virgin hair. Damn! Seven months of grow out for nothing.

Not completely unlike me to jump to conclusions, I called Aveda up. The manager had me come in that afternoon so she could get a closer look. She said that there were a few spots where the red was further down but that it was my natural hair color. Apparently, all the greying has had me grey even more and there are spots that are getting lighter and lighter. I'm constantly going lighter. What the--? Does this mean that when I graduate from hair dye, I won't really graduate?? She further explained that hair color shows up differently and there was no hair color on my grey. I know my hairdresser took special care and she was so careful that this is why I have that darker stripe at my demarcation line. So whew! I am glad that the process was a total success!

This process of color lifting is not for the faint of heart. The chemicals contain a lot of peroxide so for all of you with ppd allergies, I'm afraid this might not be a good bet for you. The color doesn't rinse out but the peroxide formula penetrates the hair shaft and breaks up the color, sort of eating through the color. As I said in a previous post, one application of organic coconut oil and my hair was restored.

Even though it sounds like a harsh process, I look at the before and after of my hair and it's sooo much easier now. I really am not conscious of it when I go outside. I realise that writing a blog about your hair makes you a wee bit more obsessed with it than the Average Joe but it is making this transition even easier. I feel like I'm really starting to see what my color will look like when I'm all done.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Roux-fully Challenged

I did something I SHOULD have done several months ago: I went to a salon and had a color lift. This is the polite way of saying I had the salon strip out as much of the color as possible. This is not for the faint of heart because it is heavy on the chemicals and can make your eyes water. But it lasted for 10 minutes, cost $10 at Aveda, and with some coconut oil left in for 30 minutes (thought I was going to say 10?) my hair was as good as new. Except one thing- it's LIGHTER!

These are pics of me right before I went in to the salon, right after, and styled with Roux Fanciful rinse (I'll get into that in a minute). Disclaimer: I was going into the salon and wanted my stylist to know exactly what kind of tween tantrums my hair will pull if not whipped into shape, so she could suggest shorter styles. Lest we forget, I reside in the South: a swampy climate which ensures dewy skin and frizzy Texas pageant hair. Going to a short 'do is done with trepidation. So here is the 1, 2, 3 of my hair transition:



Several oddities came up when I saw my new hair. First of all, I was in mourning for my lost Sheltie look- now I wouldn't look like my puppy anymore. Second, and I know I should have come to terms with this long ago, I would never be a redhead again. Other than the occasional wisps of red hair I still have, my days as a ginger are done-zo. Also, my silver has changed completely; almost unrecognizable to me. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that some of the dyed hair must have gotten on my virgin hair and coated it. Against the dark red my grey looked somewhat pewter but against the blonde it looks redder. The jury is still out, but really I think my grey is just adjusting to reflecting the new color.


One question you might have is why the hair is so much orange-ier at the top of the dyed hair in Pic #2? This is due to the original hair nightmare- the craptastic ombre that I had dyed over. Apparently that cherry chocolate undercoating has now oxidized to a lovely shade of traffic cone orange. The second question you may have is why is there little-to-no improvement between Pic #2 and Pic #3? This is because I'm roux-challenged.

Roux-Fanciful is a rinse that perhaps your grandmother would know. I have seen silver sisters that have super light blonde ends and they use Roux to turn their blonde silver. I'm not exactly sure the extent of Roux because I can't seem to get it to work for me. I have tried it in Silver Lining and Tru Steel but to very little effect. I've glopped, combed through, sjoozhed (it's a word), smooshed and still failed.

Regardless, I am loving the change in the lighter hair. I feel like this makes the transition easier and my silver blends in much better with the blonde-ish color. Even though one of my favorite kids at Church said my hair was different, just a light orange *thud*, alas still it's better. And next up will be shorter hairstyles!